Part of their psychological war is making the rest of us feel hopeless. Which is why I refuse to feel hopeless. I'm giving everything I have to beating them. If I fail, it won't be the first time. But I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't try. And trying is an exercise in hope. Hope is a fuck you to fascism.
Mainstream media only cares about eyeballs and money. There is no journalistic integrity anymore. I get my news from The Guardian primarily, besides here on Substack. I don't watch news programs, either. I find I'm better able to process and compartmentalize when I read.
Sorry about the Yankees. My husband is a diehard Brewers fan, so I often get to hear him moan about them. I know how streaky and inconsistent they can be.
The only good thing is Sara Sidner of CNN…a capable anchorwoman battling breast cancer and living proof that your can be plus-sized, plus-50, and smokin’ hot.
And I only see Sara for an hour at the start of the day. She's gone at 10 a.m.
Despite the double mastectomy -- she openly talked about it -- she looks great. I'm sure her husband and kids are delighted to put up with her enduring chemo than visiting her grave. I'm very aware of this because breast cancer has cut a bloody swathe through my in-laws.
I’m so glad you guys survived your programming. I guess I was lucky that because my father died when I was 9 my mother had her hands full with my disabled brother and rebellious sister so I was left alone to read whatever I wanted. We stopped going to church about then too. No obvious programming.
It is always interesting to me how people can come from similar places and wind up so different. It goes to show that we are individuals, and we respond to the various ingredients that comprise our upbringing in our individual ways.
Like you, my dad died when I was young, so my programming was cut short at about 9 years of age also.
But I also remember being something of a rebel--at least in my own mind. I'd question. I just wouldn't voice it (learned that early on). I remember being in church one morning and hearing how you needed to be a good Christian bc you never knew when you were going to die. And I was thinking, this sucks bc I know I'll want to be bad sometimes! LOL!
How we forgive them is to remember that people have their own individual problems and most of us are just working through life as best as we can. That’s why I feel very strongly that it is our responsibility to lift others up. Who knows when I might need the hand.
People are often envious of wealth. But wealth doesn’t equal happiness. It’s gratitude. Looking outward often fixes the stuff we have going on inside. I didn’t realize my family was barely getting along financially because we had each other and our dreams.
Thank you for sharing such personal feelings. Couples should be screened for mental fitness before they mate. It’s hard for people to parent as it is but add the generational shaming and frankly lack of true love and warmth and you get a weak imitation of what a healthy family is. The good news is that no matter how you were squeezed and shoved into a mold of the church’s creation, you had it within you to realize something was wrong. Your struggling within such repressive environments was because deep down you knew there was freedom out there.
I would dare to say that perhaps you were being prepared to help so many others who are too damaged to seek help. Your knowledge cannot be learned from a book or a scientific study, it has to be experienced.
Others can moan and groan about the actions and reactions to Project 2025 but you know the unseen things that can damage people, society and ultimately our country. Countries are only as good and healthy as the least of us.
Keep speaking out as there are people who need to hear you. I don’t have a point of reference as my childhood was so very different. But I am not someone who likes to be discriminated, manipulated or forced to do something. I also can see the warnings you are giving are valid and MUST be believed in order to stop the authoritarianism.
One of the worst things these patriarchal systems engender is broken people. My parents did the best they knew how to do given the tools they had. They both came from horrific environments and were better parents than they had. But that is also what drove them into Christian Nationalism.
I don’t write about myself a lot because writing stuff like this takes a lot out of me. I don’t need anything from it. I give myself what I need. And yes, I escaped and am mostly functional. I defined the parameters of my own life, and I am using my experience for good, so that others may not be forced to bear similar loads.
My husband can tell you about my physical, visceral reaction to reading P2025. It’s the main reason I now live in another country. I know what P2025 is; I know what it will do to people; and I will not live like that again.
It’s so damaging to children to be brought up from the earliest age in a rigid religious way of being. Every little thing is tied to G-d with something hanging over your head that has to do with heaven and hell that you can’t possibly comprehend. It makes me so sad for the new wave of fundamentalists homeschooling these poor kids. To me, it’s child abuse having lived the immersion in a f-d up world view. It’s like you never feel really safe. You don’t trust yourself or, frankly, anyone else. Therefore, how do you cultivate loving intimate friendships and partnerships.
With a bunch of work it’s possible to get to a better place but it’s lifelong work. It would be a much better world if religious fundamentalism didn’t exist in all forms and religions. Imagine there’s no heaven…
I told my husband that I don't like to write about these things, because I know many, many people had worse upbringings. Hell, his was worse than mine. But it's important to tell these stories because what Project 2025 and Christian Nationalists are trying to do will have lifelong consequences. It will fuck up so many innocent lives. It will indoctrinate people and snuff out their lights and harm them.
I told my husband that I was so glad my memoir proposal was rejected last year, because it would've been nothing but writing stuff like this for months. Marinating in this isn't good for me. Which is why I'm glad things went the way they did with the book deal, and I found a way to use my experience without constantly reliving my trauma. It has its uses. I think it was appropriate today. But generally, I prefer to focus on what this could do to other people and leave my trauma in the past.
This is so sad. I lived a similar life, minus the religious indoctrination. It’s weird. My dad went to work, came home to a cooked meal, by my stay at home mom, and barely spoke to us. We were always on eggshells. There’s other things too, but that’s one main similarity we have. I was indoctrinated in other ways, and have spent my whole life trying to change the mindset that they, my parents, imposed upon me and my sister. I’ve been mostly successful. Sometimes I notice one of them coming out in me and I hate it. I was also an awkward, shy child. We were kept a lot to ourselves, so being socially awkward was par for the course. Not many friends were had, and the few I did have, I realize now, were never actually friends in the first place. Thank you for sharing your truth. It makes us not feel so lonely. It’s a weird existence.
I’m sorry you can relate. These patriarchal constructs are so unhealthy. In my case, my dad was awkward and didn’t know how to relate to kids, and my mom was a controlling narcissist who always had to be the apex person in every relationship. It stuns me how patriarchy breeds narcissism in women. I got interested in watching sports so I could have something to do with my dad. For a long time, talking about sports was the only way we could have a real conversation.
Right. It’ll really mess people up. I’m still socially awkward in some instances. I’m an introvert, so I have to work hard on the social thing. I was never really hugged or comforted. Was given possessions in place of actual love. Still working on it all. I definitely can never surrender to living under anything like Project 2025! They’ll have to kill me. I will fight!
There must be a setting somewhere, but yes it's very difficult to figure out what a cat has done to a piece of technology :) I use the substack app on my phone but the website may have more features. Hopefully it will just be on this post and not all of them.
This entire election is already ruining my life.
There is no escape and there will be even less when the Bloated Yam is back in power.
Part of their psychological war is making the rest of us feel hopeless. Which is why I refuse to feel hopeless. I'm giving everything I have to beating them. If I fail, it won't be the first time. But I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't try. And trying is an exercise in hope. Hope is a fuck you to fascism.
Good point.
My "no escape" reference to it is how it's on the news 24/7.
I can't even watch the Yankees...their starting pitching stinks, Rizzo and Stanton are on the IL, and they lost their last three series.
Mainstream media only cares about eyeballs and money. There is no journalistic integrity anymore. I get my news from The Guardian primarily, besides here on Substack. I don't watch news programs, either. I find I'm better able to process and compartmentalize when I read.
Sorry about the Yankees. My husband is a diehard Brewers fan, so I often get to hear him moan about them. I know how streaky and inconsistent they can be.
I read the Guardian a lot myself.
In my job, I have four TV sets on all day long.
MSNBC
CNN
News 12 New Jersey
Government Access
Eight hours a day
The only good thing is Sara Sidner of CNN…a capable anchorwoman battling breast cancer and living proof that your can be plus-sized, plus-50, and smokin’ hot.
Yikes. I can understand why you feel the way you do. That's a lot of inescapable noise.
And I only see Sara for an hour at the start of the day. She's gone at 10 a.m.
Despite the double mastectomy -- she openly talked about it -- she looks great. I'm sure her husband and kids are delighted to put up with her enduring chemo than visiting her grave. I'm very aware of this because breast cancer has cut a bloody swathe through my in-laws.
I’m so glad you guys survived your programming. I guess I was lucky that because my father died when I was 9 my mother had her hands full with my disabled brother and rebellious sister so I was left alone to read whatever I wanted. We stopped going to church about then too. No obvious programming.
It is always interesting to me how people can come from similar places and wind up so different. It goes to show that we are individuals, and we respond to the various ingredients that comprise our upbringing in our individual ways.
I'm glad they survived too.
Like you, my dad died when I was young, so my programming was cut short at about 9 years of age also.
But I also remember being something of a rebel--at least in my own mind. I'd question. I just wouldn't voice it (learned that early on). I remember being in church one morning and hearing how you needed to be a good Christian bc you never knew when you were going to die. And I was thinking, this sucks bc I know I'll want to be bad sometimes! LOL!
I’m glad you had a healthy dose of wonder, Kelley. Nothing wrong with being bad-curious.
9 must be an important time in a child’s psyche for developing a sense of self. We survived and are strong!
How we forgive them is to remember that people have their own individual problems and most of us are just working through life as best as we can. That’s why I feel very strongly that it is our responsibility to lift others up. Who knows when I might need the hand.
People are often envious of wealth. But wealth doesn’t equal happiness. It’s gratitude. Looking outward often fixes the stuff we have going on inside. I didn’t realize my family was barely getting along financially because we had each other and our dreams.
Exactly. I can give my mom empathy even when I cannot deal with her. And so on.
Our online lives feed on envy. It’s why I’ve pulled back so much. I don’t want to contribute to that.
Thank you for sharing such personal feelings. Couples should be screened for mental fitness before they mate. It’s hard for people to parent as it is but add the generational shaming and frankly lack of true love and warmth and you get a weak imitation of what a healthy family is. The good news is that no matter how you were squeezed and shoved into a mold of the church’s creation, you had it within you to realize something was wrong. Your struggling within such repressive environments was because deep down you knew there was freedom out there.
I would dare to say that perhaps you were being prepared to help so many others who are too damaged to seek help. Your knowledge cannot be learned from a book or a scientific study, it has to be experienced.
Others can moan and groan about the actions and reactions to Project 2025 but you know the unseen things that can damage people, society and ultimately our country. Countries are only as good and healthy as the least of us.
Keep speaking out as there are people who need to hear you. I don’t have a point of reference as my childhood was so very different. But I am not someone who likes to be discriminated, manipulated or forced to do something. I also can see the warnings you are giving are valid and MUST be believed in order to stop the authoritarianism.
One of the worst things these patriarchal systems engender is broken people. My parents did the best they knew how to do given the tools they had. They both came from horrific environments and were better parents than they had. But that is also what drove them into Christian Nationalism.
I don’t write about myself a lot because writing stuff like this takes a lot out of me. I don’t need anything from it. I give myself what I need. And yes, I escaped and am mostly functional. I defined the parameters of my own life, and I am using my experience for good, so that others may not be forced to bear similar loads.
My husband can tell you about my physical, visceral reaction to reading P2025. It’s the main reason I now live in another country. I know what P2025 is; I know what it will do to people; and I will not live like that again.
It’s so damaging to children to be brought up from the earliest age in a rigid religious way of being. Every little thing is tied to G-d with something hanging over your head that has to do with heaven and hell that you can’t possibly comprehend. It makes me so sad for the new wave of fundamentalists homeschooling these poor kids. To me, it’s child abuse having lived the immersion in a f-d up world view. It’s like you never feel really safe. You don’t trust yourself or, frankly, anyone else. Therefore, how do you cultivate loving intimate friendships and partnerships.
With a bunch of work it’s possible to get to a better place but it’s lifelong work. It would be a much better world if religious fundamentalism didn’t exist in all forms and religions. Imagine there’s no heaven…
I told my husband that I don't like to write about these things, because I know many, many people had worse upbringings. Hell, his was worse than mine. But it's important to tell these stories because what Project 2025 and Christian Nationalists are trying to do will have lifelong consequences. It will fuck up so many innocent lives. It will indoctrinate people and snuff out their lights and harm them.
Heartbreaking. Thank you for sharing that. I know it drains you.
I told my husband that I was so glad my memoir proposal was rejected last year, because it would've been nothing but writing stuff like this for months. Marinating in this isn't good for me. Which is why I'm glad things went the way they did with the book deal, and I found a way to use my experience without constantly reliving my trauma. It has its uses. I think it was appropriate today. But generally, I prefer to focus on what this could do to other people and leave my trauma in the past.
This is so sad. I lived a similar life, minus the religious indoctrination. It’s weird. My dad went to work, came home to a cooked meal, by my stay at home mom, and barely spoke to us. We were always on eggshells. There’s other things too, but that’s one main similarity we have. I was indoctrinated in other ways, and have spent my whole life trying to change the mindset that they, my parents, imposed upon me and my sister. I’ve been mostly successful. Sometimes I notice one of them coming out in me and I hate it. I was also an awkward, shy child. We were kept a lot to ourselves, so being socially awkward was par for the course. Not many friends were had, and the few I did have, I realize now, were never actually friends in the first place. Thank you for sharing your truth. It makes us not feel so lonely. It’s a weird existence.
I’m sorry you can relate. These patriarchal constructs are so unhealthy. In my case, my dad was awkward and didn’t know how to relate to kids, and my mom was a controlling narcissist who always had to be the apex person in every relationship. It stuns me how patriarchy breeds narcissism in women. I got interested in watching sports so I could have something to do with my dad. For a long time, talking about sports was the only way we could have a real conversation.
Right. It’ll really mess people up. I’m still socially awkward in some instances. I’m an introvert, so I have to work hard on the social thing. I was never really hugged or comforted. Was given possessions in place of actual love. Still working on it all. I definitely can never surrender to living under anything like Project 2025! They’ll have to kill me. I will fight!
It was early this morning so I guess I’ll never know what was deleted. There were only 2 comments left below the one I was trying to read.
I like the tee shirt idea. But refresh didn’t work🙀
There must be a setting somewhere, but yes it's very difficult to figure out what a cat has done to a piece of technology :) I use the substack app on my phone but the website may have more features. Hopefully it will just be on this post and not all of them.
My cat walked across my iPad and some comments disappeared do you know how to get them back?
I don't. I haven't deleted any comments here, so if you refresh your screen, they might reappear.
Science teaches us that it's not possible for matter to be created or destroyed.
Except by cats :)
Hahahahahaha!
I feel a T-shirt message coming... "My cat walked acrss m kebrd nd typt totl sht nottt my falt
Haha!