I'm still hoping that (especially while she's still with us) I'll find that 'Nice Jewish Girl' my mom always hoped I'd marry when I was little boy/teenager... Of course, IF we had a Jewish wedding I'm pretty sure (never actually checked into it) it would have to be in a Reform temple, not one that's Orthodox. 😉 (Two women, at least one of us trans? I doubt that would go over very well with an Orthodox Rabbi...)
I hope you find her! I believe you can officially marry in a Conservative shul, although it's largely up to the individual rabbi and congregation, and not all of them are welcoming to the LGBTQ+ community. Just if you want options. 😉
While it may have taken you a little bit longer - clearly, you ended up with the best and healthiest marriage of anyone from your childhood that's still involved in the fundamentalist movement. You and your husband are superb examples of a healthy marriage, they are hard to come by in general, even in the secular world.
Next year will be our 20-year anniversary. We talked about eloping when we got engaged - but received pressure from both sides of the family to get married in the Catholic church, which we did. It's one of my biggest regrets to have invited "them" into our most special day, because I disagree with all religious dogma..... I disagreed with it
back then and I disagree with it even more now. What's done is done.... what does matter is that my husband is awesome. 😊
We are not officially planning anything special per se, but I'm working on itinerary for a trip to Vermont in 2025. We go on vacation every year, generally to National Parks because we love the natural beauty, but next year we're going to Vermont, a beautiful state. This year we are going to Yellowstone, Grand Tetons, Jackson Hole.
I love Burlington. My husband won a trip to Stowe during the pandemic, and we used it during the holiday season 2021. I also almost divorced him over a hike we did there (Mount Mansfield), but that’s another story. Ha.
I remember you said you were going to those areas this year. I hope you’ll tell me about them. I’ve never been.
A sizzling perspective. How could Mary and Joseph be Christian when Christ didn’t shed blood? How could Adam and Eve?
My upbringing dictated that if people followed Biblical Law before Jesus, his blood would count for them retroactively. Which is probably where Catholics came up with purgatory. No. Scratch that. Purgatory was a money-making scheme.
Thank you. He took that picture with a film camera. We have so many selfies from our early years before smartphones. We never knew whether or not they turned out until we developed the film.
I know, right? I miss the magic of film cameras. It was so exciting to get the film developed and see what got captured from the past. He captured the magic with that one. Really wonderful.
I’m grateful you found each other. I left a toxic marriage of 20 yrs and 5 yrs later married a wonderful man. A lot of work, therapy and support from friends. My life has peace and I can live an authentic life. 💕💕
Thanks 😊 I knew what I DID NOT want in another relationship/marriage. I had difficulty understanding what a healthy relationship looked like. Healthy behavior was foreign to me and stressful especially when I experienced kindness. I thought my “picker was broken”. 😂. Grateful for the opportunity to be open to learning and healing. ❤️🩹 A lot of work and grief. It was worth it. 🍃🍂✨🌟
I'm sorry to hear that you're another member of the Toxic Marriage Club! I'm so grateful that my ex is on the other coast. And unsurprisingly, at least to me, after we split he went headlong into Christian Nationalism; my joke is that if you ask us to complete the sentence "I found Jesus, and" he'd say "it's the best thing that ever happened to me," and I'd say "he was behind the couch the whole time." Good riddance.
I think American society schools women to accept these assholes. And it often takes a big old dose of being married to one to break through that programming. I’m glad you escaped someone who clearly didn’t deserve you.
I’m so happy you found the best husband outside the limits of such a disrespectful church.
My therapist said given what I came from, marrying him was a miracle. 😂 And thank you.
I'm still hoping that (especially while she's still with us) I'll find that 'Nice Jewish Girl' my mom always hoped I'd marry when I was little boy/teenager... Of course, IF we had a Jewish wedding I'm pretty sure (never actually checked into it) it would have to be in a Reform temple, not one that's Orthodox. 😉 (Two women, at least one of us trans? I doubt that would go over very well with an Orthodox Rabbi...)
I’m rooting for this Nice Jewish Girl to find you, Marie. However you marry her (or choose to celebrate your love), I will be cheering for you. ❤️
I hope you find her! I believe you can officially marry in a Conservative shul, although it's largely up to the individual rabbi and congregation, and not all of them are welcoming to the LGBTQ+ community. Just if you want options. 😉
While it may have taken you a little bit longer - clearly, you ended up with the best and healthiest marriage of anyone from your childhood that's still involved in the fundamentalist movement. You and your husband are superb examples of a healthy marriage, they are hard to come by in general, even in the secular world.
Next year will be our 20-year anniversary. We talked about eloping when we got engaged - but received pressure from both sides of the family to get married in the Catholic church, which we did. It's one of my biggest regrets to have invited "them" into our most special day, because I disagree with all religious dogma..... I disagreed with it
back then and I disagree with it even more now. What's done is done.... what does matter is that my husband is awesome. 😊
I'm glad you're married to an awesome man who loves you. Are you planning anything special for your 20th?
We are not officially planning anything special per se, but I'm working on itinerary for a trip to Vermont in 2025. We go on vacation every year, generally to National Parks because we love the natural beauty, but next year we're going to Vermont, a beautiful state. This year we are going to Yellowstone, Grand Tetons, Jackson Hole.
I love Burlington. My husband won a trip to Stowe during the pandemic, and we used it during the holiday season 2021. I also almost divorced him over a hike we did there (Mount Mansfield), but that’s another story. Ha.
I remember you said you were going to those areas this year. I hope you’ll tell me about them. I’ve never been.
Burlington is definitely on our list to go to, also going to check out the Northeast Kingdom.
Sounds like a match made in heaven….sorta like the pre-Christian parents who bequeathed a spiritual transformation for the world.
A sizzling perspective. How could Mary and Joseph be Christian when Christ didn’t shed blood? How could Adam and Eve?
My upbringing dictated that if people followed Biblical Law before Jesus, his blood would count for them retroactively. Which is probably where Catholics came up with purgatory. No. Scratch that. Purgatory was a money-making scheme.
Happy anniversary you two! 💞
That’s such an awesome story.
Happy Anniversary and the picture is just wonderful! I’m equally happy that you escaped the madness of that world!
Thank you. He took that picture with a film camera. We have so many selfies from our early years before smartphones. We never knew whether or not they turned out until we developed the film.
I know, right? I miss the magic of film cameras. It was so exciting to get the film developed and see what got captured from the past. He captured the magic with that one. Really wonderful.
Thank you for your post. I grew up in a similar setting and have some of the same experiences. Thank you for writing about Project 2025.
Solidarity to you, Heather. We strong women survive and thrive. And you're welcome. I hope you're able to use this information in your communities.
I’m grateful you found each other. I left a toxic marriage of 20 yrs and 5 yrs later married a wonderful man. A lot of work, therapy and support from friends. My life has peace and I can live an authentic life. 💕💕
It boggles my mind how many women I know who had mistake marriages and went on to marry lovely people. I’m glad you found your person.
Thanks 😊 I knew what I DID NOT want in another relationship/marriage. I had difficulty understanding what a healthy relationship looked like. Healthy behavior was foreign to me and stressful especially when I experienced kindness. I thought my “picker was broken”. 😂. Grateful for the opportunity to be open to learning and healing. ❤️🩹 A lot of work and grief. It was worth it. 🍃🍂✨🌟
I'm sorry to hear that you're another member of the Toxic Marriage Club! I'm so grateful that my ex is on the other coast. And unsurprisingly, at least to me, after we split he went headlong into Christian Nationalism; my joke is that if you ask us to complete the sentence "I found Jesus, and" he'd say "it's the best thing that ever happened to me," and I'd say "he was behind the couch the whole time." Good riddance.
I think American society schools women to accept these assholes. And it often takes a big old dose of being married to one to break through that programming. I’m glad you escaped someone who clearly didn’t deserve you.
Love this piece 🌺🌸🌺
Thank you.